▍ Fear helps us survive. "Fear" is an emotion that arises when a person feels threatened. Alan explains that threats can be external (real-world dangers) or internal (physical sensations or imagined scenarios). "The feeling of fear emerges because of a threat, and the resulting behaviors are meant to help us survive." Consequently, when people encounter danger, the body exhibits various reactions, such as an increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and muscle tension, all of which help us cope with the threat. Alan outlines several ways people respond to fear: 1. Fight, resisting or attacking; 2. Flight, avoiding or running away; 3. Freeze, becoming immobilized. He notes that these reactions are influenced by an individual's upbringing, personality, and more. "They are all designed to help us survive and regain a sense of safety." However, some people may not understand their own physical reactions, leading to feelings of guilt or confusion about why they couldn't save themselves. He cites the example of sexual assault survivors who may be unable to react when facing extreme danger, only to feel self-blame later for not running away at the time. Are there "good" or "bad" ways to react to fear? Alan responds: "It depends on the perspective from which we approach it." From a nervous system standpoint, these reactions are meant to ensure survival; however, when the intensity of fear becomes so overwhelming that it disrupts daily life, people often find themselves resisting or denying those feelings. From a cultural perspective, if society generally expects men to be brave, the ridicule that can follow an expression of fear may lead to feelings of shame. ▍ Managing fear gives life choices. When it comes to managing fear, Alan points out that there are different approaches: First, addressing the source of the fear. One psychological model is "habituation," where, as a person faces the peak of their fear, the body gradually enters an adaptation phase, the sense of fear subsides, and the person realizes the source of the threat is not as daunting as it seemed. However, Alan cautions that if the fear encountered during therapy is beyond what a person can handle, it may cause further trauma. Second, managing the feeling of fear itself, such as through breathing exercises, visualizing empowering images, or recalling relaxing scenes to soothe the body's fear response. Alan believes that whether people choose to address the source of the fear or the feeling of fear reflects different values. "Some choose to change the situation that makes them fearful, because changing the circumstances prevents the fear from being triggered; others choose to regulate the feeling of fear so that they can cope regardless of the situation." Ultimately, he emphasizes that the goal is to give people choices in their lives, rather than being led by fear.
